Happy Thanksgiving

Yes, I am 2 days late on wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Since the adoption, things have

been so busy! I am not sure why. But I think it's this time of

year.

We had a great adoption day, and took the kids to McDonald's in Cedar so we could just enjoy the day. I also took the kids to DI, and they all got to choose something. It was lots of fun.

Tracy has had it rough lately. Between his pain and bed deflating all the time...I am busy making him comfortable. He actually spent a few days in bed. He was so happy to have Justen home, that was therapeutic for him.

We had an awesome Thanksgiving. Thanks to Kathleen Cooper and her planning. She arranged a few people including her amazing family members to bring us different dishes of food. So we cooked the turkey, and she supplied the other stuff. What a sweetheart she is. She insisted on doing that! We were going to eat with the town, but my older kids were upset with that idea. And since Justen came home, it was nice to be able to eat at home with our kids. We are so blessed by people in Panguitch that care about us, as their family, since we have no family close. It really made our day easy, fun, and carefree. Thanks to everyone involved. (Kelly, Gaylene, Kay, Cooper Family, Annette, Ruth, and whoever else I didn't know about) The food was delish!

Justen and I could not decide whether to go black Friday shopping or not. It's more tradition so I can spend some fun time with my older kids. We finally decided at 12:30am, that we would go. So we slept for an hour and a half, and Justen and I went. We had fun and laughed alot. Then, enjoyed a nice lunch. We topped it off with a family gift. A puppy that we brought home. I personally had no desire to have another job, but...my family has been crying for one since Macy died.

So...when I find my camera charger, I will put the photos up. The kids are in heaven. Santa couldn't bring the puppy, cause he makes toys. Not living things. But this is their main gift, and they are happy for it. Hopefully they will take it all on. Tracy is excited to have a lapdog. He has wanted one for a while. I am feeling the insane-ness coming upon me. I guess I give in to peer pressure too easily.

Well, I'm off to enjoy the weekend with my kids home! Justen left for Phoenix today. Go figure. His girlfriend means more than us. Wa. He brought us some chips and salsa from Manuel's, our favorite Mexican restaurant. So we have a little piece of him left for a few days. I wish he lived closer to us! He enjoyed a night with Austen and Craig as they were grooming BrianHead. Justen says Austen is totally amazing at what he does. I'd have to say, I would agree. I love my family! They are so awesome!

The time has come!

Come one, Come all! It's our big day!

WE are SO excited for tomorrow. Doing all we can do to contain our happiness.

Tracy is still just hanging in there, going to work, and doing all he can regardless of his pain. We are proud of him for his efforts.

Trichelle is gone for a week with her friend, adventuring in California. We miss her immensely, and are trying to get by the week without her. It's not working so well.

We have not set a date yet for our temple sealing to our babies. We are tossing around if we should go to Arizona where most family is, or just go to St. George, and miss half of the family, as it's quite a drive. So...we are hoping to go in December sometime.

Thanks for all of your support in accepting our new children as part of our family. We didn't plan to adopt when we took them as foster children, but they are the greatest, sweetest children there are. We will be blessed by having their sweet spirits in our home. It might seem wild that we would adopt more children, but we feel that it is right for us, and we are more than happy to take them, and love them as our own.

We are so blessed.

Happy Veteran's Day!

To all of our service men, we are so grateful for you, and for the freedom you are fighting for us to enjoy! Thanks! I have a nephew in Iraq right now, and it's not easy on him. So we do understand what a great sacrifice it is for them. I LOVE America, and know it's a blessing to be living here in this promised land!

We will not have our lift until Thursday, but have no way to get to St. George until Friday when we go to Tracy's parents' anniversary party.
So meanwhile, life is hard this week.
I called like 10 people today to try and get someone to help lift Tracy out of bed, but no one was home, or their line was busy. At that point, I was almost in tears, so...I said forget it.
Robin and I had already moved him two times, but between her back problems, and my potential ones...meaning...I can feel the pain now...we decided to leave him in his bed for the day. He was not feeling good enough to even get up until about noon. His epidural still hasn't kicked in, and he never feels good. So it worked out ok I guess. He hates not getting up and out, even when he is feeling poorly.

We are hoping that tomorrow, we will have our boys help again. I am trying not to get discouraged about all of the problems, but...it's so busy here, and without my family, I am thinking it's almost impossible. But...that is another story and I am going to try NOT to beat a dead horse.

I had 3 sick kids at the doc today, and then another one called home. I am glad it's not the flu, but just a runny nose, sore throat thing. We tested negative for strep, so it should be gone soon.
And yesterday, running to Cedar for Ryen's abscessed tooth, and Stevie had a doc appointment there.

We are trying to get everyone well before the big "party" on Friday for Carol and DeVon's 50th anniversary.

I think I have at least 2 pages on my note pad, of things that need done very soon. Does everyone else have that too? I think so. I have felt a little under the weather myself. I think it's the all night, every hour problems with everyone. As soon as I doze off...." MOM! or Lynn"

Did I mention that Tracy's bed is not staying inflated? So I am having to turn him alot, and use lots of pillows, and he is hurting because of the problem. As long as he doesn't get another pressure sore, I think we'll be good to go until we can get another bed. We have WAY over-exceeded our insurance allowance on problem equipment this year. So...

We thought our insurance panned out, but...alas...I could not go one more day without my 10 prescriptions, so...I charged them to the store, and hopefully, the insurance will pan out any day.
This is a HUGE problem for us. I am not sure how to solve it, unless I can get a job with insurance, and bag the rest. Oh well, this is just what is up with us. You guys should email me all of your whoas, so I can feel better that I am not the only one out there! I hope you are all doing so great, and well, and happy, and... full of life. It is refreshing to see people having a good life.

We hope to catch up soon, and continue with everyday living. Hope...that is where it's at. A person cannot live without HOPE.
We still cling to that thought. Thanks for any and all support that has been shown to us. Someday, things will get easier. Until then, thanks for your prayers in our behalf.

Sunday

Today was Stake Conference. I was worried about the satellite being...you know...hard to handle. But amazingly, I loved it. It was so great! I learned alot today. And the best part of the whole thing...Craig was made an Elder. So he is now prepared to go to the temple, and is almost done with his missionary paperwork. I am not sure I am ready for all of this, but...so proud of him.

In case you are not on my facebook account, you haven't heard that our lift is broken AGAIN. I think it's the main box. It keeps frying our batteries, of which we just ordered 2 new ones at $300 a piece. We are freaking out. Mostly because it's so hard to lift him. Oh the hardship of lifting him. He is trying to lose weight, so it will be easier, but...I just cannot do it alone. So our boys will have to drive from the lake until we get it fixed, to help me. Again, very hard, but necessary daily.
Today, I was trying to move Tracy's wheelchair, and ran over his boot. The ones that he uses to keep pressure sores from him heels, etc. Sadly, it busted into 2 pieces. I have never been very coordinated. Yikes. AT least we still have one boot to protect his heel that has the huge blister. Which by the way is healing. He's like diddle diddle dumpling...my son john...(you know how it goes) One boot on, one boot off. Ha ha ha. Oh I am so funny. (I laugh at myself on a regular basis. My kids think I am a goof ball) Oh it's so funny.

Tracy is hurting very badly. I changed his catheter, but that didn't help. I have no idea how to help his pain these days. I hope that epidural kicks in. He does ok in the mornings, but about half day, he is done.

Did I mention that we are getting hassled AGAIN about our medical insurance? I haven't been able to get any meds this month so far because we are not covered until they INVESTIGATE our case AGAIN. We have to have it in the next VERY short time, or we are in deep trouble medicine wise. We already do not have some we need because of this new crisis. I wish someone...whoever it is...can get their act together very soon. (sorry if this sounds harsh, but really)
I am glad I am doing so well these days. It makes the drama of Tracy easier. Or is that...TRAUMA .
I must be tired, cause I keep making funnies, and making myself laugh.

Lyndee asked me today when she and Stevie get to be adopted. She's so sweet. Soon enough.

Trichelle and her boyfriend Colton have painted my upstairs bathroom for me. One thing at a time, and we might be able to keep up on this place. The paint cost me my left arm, but I guess it's gone up in price over the last 10 years since I painted last. Sheesh! It was worth every dime! It's going to be amazing. She is doing a 10 hour project for her young women's personal progress. Awesome! I will have to take a photo.

I plan to get them going on the rest of the house soon, since they did such a good job. (I haven't mentioned that to her yet.)

We still have Sky, our little 2 year old foster baby. She's a bundle of joy, yet one of the busiest 2 year olds I have ever had in my home. She's the master of disaster, and is 150% 2 year old.
But we love her to death. She will probably go home in January. We will be sad, since she's so fun, soft, and loving.

That's our Sunday news here. I hope no one thinks I am complaining in my posts. I really am not. Just updating what life is like here. I personally don't mind it much most of the time. I enjoy my children so much, they bring me so much joy, happiness, and purpose. :) Ah...life is good! I mean that too!

Epidural Update

Ethen and Kolby's science project

Trichelle and Colton, Sadies

Our sweet little Kollen came to visit. Aunt Trichelle hauled him around for a while, in this front pack. He loved it!

Grammy loves Kolly! Cute little boo boo

Tracy and Lyndee enjoying the science fair

Trichelle was one of the science fair judges

This week has been so incredibly busy. I thought it would slow down after Halloween. Since I have already been gone alot this week, I lined Craig up to take Tracy to St. George for his epidural surgical procedure. I was so proud of myself. I even sat down to read with the little kids feeling so lucky that I was going to get to stay home. Then, it hit. Nathen was reading his memorized books to me, when he started talking weird, and I noticed the entire side of his cheek was swollen. I knew then and there, my day was over.

I had to rush and get ready as the dentist office did have one cancellation within an hour and a half. That gave me 30 minutes to get ready to leave and be out the door. WA.

Austen came down to watch the little kids, and off Nate and I went to Cedar. Craig and Tracy on their way to St. George for his appointment.

Nathen ended up with an abscess under his tooth, so they pulled the whole molar. Needless to say for a 5 year old, that was hard on him.

I am so glad I had Craig lined up for Tracy. They needed a little father-son bonding time.

The shot went ok, but Tracy also didn't handle it as well as it could have been, and was very hard to deal with after the whole ordeal. I am sure it was the medicine and stuff. I ended up staying in Cedar with my friend for a little bit. And I got texts of how horrible things were going at home. Oh my.

Tracy doesn't remember it. So I am not sure what happened there.

Today, after going to the science fair, he went to his office for a few hours. But the pain is so intense, he has been in bed all day and had to cancel therapy. He is still struggling pretty badly tonight with pain, but is easy to deal with. Just sad to watch him suffer so much in pain. Usually it only lasts up to a week. I hope only a few days this time. But only time will tell. He seems so blah tonight. He is just hurting so bad. I can only watch and feel bad. There is nothing much else I can do other than try to make him comfortable, and add extra pain meds.

Tonight is Sadie-Hawkins. So Trichelle has kind of been gone for the afternoon and having a blast.

Our busy days in the neighborhood continue! Parent-teacher conferences I am trying to make up, and housework, and just about everything else under the sun.

But we really are doing quite well considering the weekly drama.

WE are just hoping and praying that Tracy's pain will soon subside and he will be back in the swing of life asap!

He was so happy to see baby Kollen when Austen and Kayla brought him down today. He is so totally in love with his grandson! (well, we all fight for his chubby little cheeks)

Every time I move him, he cringes in pain. He is still pretty sore tonight, so hopefully things will go better than last night, and today.

Halloween

Trick-Or-Treat!

Kollen! Cute little giraffe!

A few of My little pumpkins!

Kendra-witch

Steven-monkey

Nate- chicken

Lyndee-spider

Dillen-power ranger

Ryen- star wars guy (whatever it's called)

Skylynn, our little bear

Dillen is the cat in the parade for school

Nathen is Mickey Mouse

Lyndee the chicken

Jennifer Bremner had a great costume! We think she's hilarious! The boys think she's their aunt or grandma or something, since she's always so nice to them! We are so grateful for her and the service she always offers our family.

Kendra in her witch outfit. It's hard t tell with the coat on!

Ryen, the star Wars guy in white

Ethen, the Mountain Dew man. He came up with this on his own. Trey is one of his good friends.

We had lots of fun on Halloween! We started off with the town parade. Then, I helped with the kindergarten party. Trick or Treating was fun too! Tracy stayed home and passed out the candy. He had a blast! I am so glad the weather cooperated! It was such a nice day outside, without the wind. What a true blessing!

Tracy has his epidural scheduled for Thursday if all goes well. So hopefully he will be out of pain soon. He is managing ok, so that is good. His blister is healing nicely, and so is the cut we gave him when our lift was broken. He's quite patient with us. (well, most of the time)

Robin returned today. That made life even better. She's been out of town for a while.
She is the greatest help I have right now. What a great blessing it was especially today to have her come and get Tracy ready. Sadly, she is suffering from some back problems, so hopefully she can continue with her work. She knows all the ins and outs with getting Tracy showered, up and dressed. Gotta love her! And I DO!

How can we gain an hour and STILL Be late for church? That was ridiculous. I understood Tracy being late because he had to wait on Robin, but for us...I guess we are a hopeless cause. I figure...at least we showed up. (my feelings...not others'...as I got a few odd stares like...geeze) One of these days, I might decide it's not worth hauling all these little kids to church, but I haven't gotten to that point yet, as I am trying not to let other people's opinions get to me too much. (yeah right). I feel like a fish out of water in my ward sometimes. Like a freak. Oh well, maybe I am.

Things are going a little better around here. Which is hopeful. I am not sure why we have had things so much harder lately. It must just be life. I guess it's time to let the expectations down a little. It's hard for us to do that, since we are both "high expectation people". It might be kind of hard to tell we were ever this way, but...yeah...breathe in, breathe out...breathe in...

But...every day is a gift. We feel this in many ways with everyone around us. We have awesome kids, and they make our life so full! The adventures and fun NEVER end. :) I LOVE being a mom
Thanks for being our friends!

Since this is the time for goblins and bats,

Halloween spirits and ghosts and cats,

Weird happenings and witches brew,

These are the thing we wish for you:
May the only ghost that comes to stay,

Be the Holy Ghost to guide your way.

May the only spirits you chance to meet,

Be the spirits of love and warm friendship sweet.
May the only trick you are asked to do,

Be the trick of helping a child or two.

These are our Halloween wishes for you,

And may God bless you in all you do!

Can't Sleep

Well, too much going on these days for rest. Do we really need to sleep anyways? This time of year is so busy. I am supposing it is for everyone.

Tracy has an epidural scheduled for next week. This is great. Hopefully, he can get back into the swing of "no pain" for a while so he can enjoy the upcoming season.

Tomorrow is a busy day at school. I need to help at the school Halloween party, the school Halloween parade in town, etc.etc.etc. I am going to miss Trichelle's help the next few days. She is up at State Volleyball cheering.

Does anyone have any ideas for "at home work?" As in...I need a job at home. I don't really have time, but...tough times call for tough measures.

Better yet, if anyone wants to buy a house, look Tracy up! That would be great!

Until that happens...I am looking for job ideas that pay cash. How much could one make off of ironing people's clothes? Probably not enough huh?

If you have any great ideas...email me. I had some funny ones I sent to my mom. But they were too funny to share. And ridiculous. I cannot help but sit here and laugh at myself. I am pretty creative and a hard worker...if I do say so myself. I guess it's time to write a book.

Wait, I cannot wait that long.

If we can get Craig on his mission, more blessings will come our way. Or we can keep him home, and he can work. Hm...decisions...decisions...

It's been so cold here in Panguitch, I can hardly stand to go outside. I thought of maybe shoveling people's walks for money this winter, but...I have never been able to do my own without almost passing out. Is that old lady syndrome? Hm...

Seriously, it's so cold outside...it's supposed to warm up for Halloween. Speaking of feeling old sometimes (well, not too often)...

Trichelle dressed up for school this week. This photo was my favorite. It was "old geezer" day or something at the high school. Pretty sad when she and her friends are looking for items

in my closet to dress up in! We found the wigs at Deseret Industries. Pretty funny. They used Tracy's reading glasses. I got them on a good deal, so he has all sorts, since he kept losing them, I got them for like 50cents, so I bought a bunch. Hee hee.

I have been trying to potty train kids so we don't have 2 sets of diapers. Only one is responding in the smallest way. Oh my. This is hard work! And messy too! Oh yikes! It's not working as I had planned.

Austen is a supervisor at BrianHead Ski Resort this year, so he's been trying to hire people all week from Cedar. Sorry, I don't know how to snowboard. Tried a few years ago and almost broke my wrist. But, I think he's excited to start the season, since the lodge is completely dead right now. No customers at all, and no prospects.

Well, I guess I should try to go and rest, since tomorrow brings new challenges. We have been without our aide, Robin for over a week now. She is just about my only relief in life. She is my only help right now, so doing without her is like...well, I am worn out. I called home health, since our insurance covers a worker, and they said they'd send someone out tomorrow since Robin won't be back until Monday. Now I feel guilty. Dang. I don't mind taking care of Tracy at all. It's all of the other things going at the same time...like a 2 year old who is trying to take care of her own potty issues. Yes, that took me like...an hour to disinfect and clean up. (sorry for the visual)

Well, that is our news. Nothing really. Just regular life at our house. We are excited for Halloween, and having fun dressing up. They kids are SO fun!

FHE- Pumpkin Carving

Kendra loves cats, so she came up with this neat pumpkin idea. Each child draws the face, and then the big kids make it come to life. It's pretty fun.

Kollen's First Halloween! He sure does love his grandpa!

Austen and Craig really helped out alot tonight with the kids' pumpkins! I really do appreciate their efforts.

I have to admit it, things are going a little better for me than they have been the past week. I am not sure what the change is. But maybe it's all the prayers in our behalf. Tracy doesn't feel good, he woke up in quite a bit of pain. We still don't have an appointment for treatment yet.

The kids were so excited to take out costumes today and try to figure out what to be. WE are still not sure on everyone, but we have a few so far. I have costumes that are 24 years old, and the kids still enjoy them, just for fun to try on and run around in. Oh how fun.

I like adding one or 2 a year, if I find a great clearance. :) That way, when one is totally worn out with love, we can trash it too.

I have known that Ethen's allergies are very bad. He is almost as bad as Craig, and as he gets older, I am wondering if his are even WORSE than Craig's. This is hard to imagine, but...tonight, Ethen wore rubber gloves to clean out his pumpkin, just because we have them, and he didn't want to get too dirty. Anyways, it wasn't long before he was in bad shape. Screaming that he couldn't see, etc. I had him take a shower. That didn't help much, but at least the pumpkin is off of his hands. I guess it's time for an allergy test for Ethen. His throat got swollen last time he ate Watermelon too. So we are finding more and more than he cannot handle. Oh my. I gave him everything I had tonight. Poor little kid. He is hurting actually. And Tracy is too.

My poor little boy. He was normal when the night started.

We got the kids a flu nose spray today for the H1N1. I worry if Tracy could get that. His lungs are not quite full capacity, so an infection could knock him out for good. He cannot cough very well at all. And he never feels good these days...for no good reason.
We miss our nurse Robin. She is my only break. My only relief, and she is gone until Thursday. That will be a week. Oh my. She drove one of the town missionaries HOME to New York! What a sweety she is. I sure do miss that lady! I cannot even WAIT until she gets home to do that one job for me. She gets paid after all...right? So I don't feel too bad about needing her.

We had fun carving our pumpkins tonight for Family Home Evening. Austen, Kayla, Kollen and Craig came down. We had lots of fun. I am glad we did it now, and not rushing to do it closer to Halloween, as this week is going to be quite busy.

Annual Tradition-Pumpkin Patch Time

Market day for the 5th grade. Ethen had so much fun. WE did too actually. Family was invited to go and buy stuff. My kids cleaned up on treats and other fun stuff. I am glad Justen got to enjoy this event with Ethen.

A hay ride! Stevie doesn't handle anything new very well, but after the ride started and mommy held him, hes enjoying life.

Tracy wanted to stay in the bus so his wheel chair didn't get dusty. Plus, he can see the kids easier from high up.

Little kids make every day activities feel like a party! They bring LIFE. That is my drive behind my children-a-plenty. I LOVE being a mom and watching the fun in children. Everything is fun when a child is involved.

What a beautiful little family

I love this photo of Kollen. What a doll!

Sweet baby Kollen. Grammie loves him.

My daughter-in-law is so pretty. What a sweetheart she is too! Always smiling.

Justee and Sarah (our cousin)

I have a photo of Craig that looks almost identical to this one of Kollen. Crazy huh?
Kollen's first Halloween. He really didn't know what all of this was about. But he sure was happy!

the train ride was pretty fun!

What a cool ride!

Colton (boyfriend) and Trichelle









.

We've had a very rough week without Tracy's lift. Without the lift, I can honestly say, that there is NO way I could take care of Tracy at home. I am just not strong enough. And my back could never handle the lifting. I am so very greatful for the Lion's Club, for buying this for us. There is NO way, I can live without it. Believe me, I have tried for a week now. Austen and Craig have come down from the lake EVERY day, just to help lift Tracy out of bed.

A week later, and we finally got the new battery and charger. We had 2 here, and they were BOTH fried. Craig made the special trip to Cedar to get these so I didn't have to go in the car again. Our next struggle is that our nurse, Robin is gone for a week, so I am on double duty these days.
Discouragement trys to set in, but I am trying to do the best I can to ward it off. I just need more time in my 24 hours to be successful. I think this is a normal wish from everyone. But we are still plugging along as you can see.
We are thinking that we might go to Phoenix for Thanksgiving, but the thought of travelling is almost more than I can bare at this time! Maybe in a few weeks, I will change my mind.

Tracy 's pain has been bad all week. It's pretty hard to accept, that AGAIN, we need another epidural or something.
So that is on the list for this next week. To plan something to relieve pain.

We also have Karalee coming in again, the official nurse. Tracy has a blister as big or bigger than a quarter on his heel. It's a potential infection/ sore. For most people, this wouldn't be as big of a deal, but his body doesn't work the same as ours, so...we are praying it heals quickly and doesn't turn into anything we cannot handle. We aren't sure how this happened.

Amidst our daily struggles, we are still doing ok... considering. Happy most of the time, and enjoying every moment of this adventure we call LIFE.

Sunday

Life is good right now for one reason. I have my relief society lesson DONE! What a relief!

Tracy is hanging in there the best he can. The biggest problem we are having ritht now...is that our lift is broken. Seriously, I cannot get him out of bed. He has to get out of bed no matter how much pain he has, or he actually gets worse.

It's been 2 days now. My brother who lives in St. George stopped by, so we had him take the batteries and chargers BACK to Alpine Medical, and they said we have to wait until Monday to see what they can do. This is a huge problem. I am serious. It's crazy.
If he were in a normal bed, it would be different, and we could just sponge bath, but this is just plain old weird. That we cannot get him up.
Austen and Craig promised to come first thing in the am, and find a way to get him in his shower chair so he can go to work. Tracy is happiest when he is up and out. No one wants to be in bed all day! What a nightmare! He is such a good sport and rarely complains about it.

We got so far behind on life with our trip, that we are continueing to organize, and dejunk, and clean the house. It's hard to add another kid or 3, and not have enough room. But I am trying. Our 2 year old foster baby is here at least until Christmas. It turned into a longer "shelter" than we had planned. Who knows what will ever happen, but the plan today is for her to return home at some point.
She's been fun and a sweet heart. Just VERY VERY busy. Unlike our little 3 year old STeven who is very reserved, and on the OCD side.
She has definitely made me more work. Let's see...markers on the walls, etc. I cannot kid proof the house as fast as she finds a new thing to get into.

We saw Kollen quite a bit lately. He is a blessing to us. He is the cutest little baby, and I it's so nice when Austen and Kayla can bring him down. I have even had Austen, Craig and Kayla here, helping out a bit. I think I just need a garage or another shed. Tracy says I need DI. To drop it all off at. Hee hee.

We are looking forward to a week of accomplishing alot to get ready for winter.
At least I am. Tomorrow is Harvest day (formerly known as deer day), so the kids have no school. I am so happy. I think they need a day to just be home, and to organize themselves, and play. They play so well together most of the time. What a blessing to have little kids who love eachother!

Thanks for your support, love and friendship!

The trip that never ends

Yes, I found more photos. I needed to share them. I have so many, it's hard to decide which ones to share, but after remembering how much fun we had, I had to share how awesome uncle Teddy is. He took his day off and let us go on his awesome boat. Every child had the chance to ride the waves on the tube, and it was so fun! I cannot find my disk, but these came off of Trichelle's camera. So for now, you just get these. We are so grateful that Uncle Teddy took the kids. They will NEVER forget this fun day!

Who has the cutest grandson? US!

Well, Kollen came to see grandma and grandpa on Monday. I will never catch up, but when I saw his photos, I had to share because he is so adorable. I had SO much fun with him, I could hardly stand it, and got NOTHING done that day. He was too fun to play with.

Tracy never feels too great anymore. I am grateful that he goes to work every day and makes his best effort to support our family. Late afternoons seem to be his hardest time. But he still did therapy. I think it's the weather change.

Overall, things are still going pretty good. I cannot complain. Afterall, I took the day off yesterday. For my day off, Austen came down and babysat most of the day, and Craig did the rest of the day as Trichelle had to cheer. I am so glad I have the most amazing sons in the world, who are so great with their little siblings.

I had a great time going to the temple, and then just having some time to do "whatever". That is therapeutic for me. I wanted to do a few things, but decided not to, because I am too frugal. So..I enjoyed time to myself. :)
Ah....life is good again. Very good!
The temple is so amazing. It does wonders for me. I come out of there, feeling like a whole new person, with way more energy than I went in with. Still amazed at what it has done for me. I wish I could go more often!

Thanks to everyone who continues to support us in whatever way that might be. Smiles work wonders!

Did I mention we were gone 10 days? Yeah...

5 amazing relatives! Thanks for dinner EVERY night of our trip. What amazing relatives we have! WE are SO blessed! There is NO way we could have gone on this trip had it not been for these guys. (And Rachel and Brian who are in another photo)
They made our trip extremely enjoyable, and made long drives daily to bring us meals, and visit with us every evening. What a joy it was. We love these guys!



These Bison are like HUGE! They scare you when they look ya in the eye!
We got pretty close to the elk!


Tempting to reach out and touch them, but...glad Craig didn't try! Isn't it amazing how close we got to these elk? It was only the babies we were close to. The huge elk with the major rack, well, he stayed far away!

Family Memories...

Tracy is off and on with his pain lately. Maybe it's the cold. Who knows.

I drove all the way to Richfield yesterday for a foster care visit, and the social worker "had the day off". Ask me if I am frustrated! Yes. That was my second trip there this week just for foster care. I think if I were home more often, I would have less stress, and be able to keep up without feeling like I had to take foster kids to hire help. I think I am going in circles.

Yesterday was Ruth Bowler's funeral. I wanted to go down to Phoenix for it, but I can barely keep my head above the life preserver now. So I didn't make it. So sad to see a good person leave us.
We are missing Justen greatly. He was so helpful. I wish we could afford him at the lodge so he could move closer to us, but alas...our rentals were down this year.



Anyways, here are a few more memories of our trip.
Snow snow everywhere! (and a few elk!)


We saw some of the most amazing waterfalls. They were so beautiful. If it wasn't such a cold day, we could have stayed out there and enjoyed them for a very long time!
the little boys had fun outside of our cabin, collecting ice and snow, then, they'd come in and warm up by the fire. Oh the fun!



Buffalo!


Uncle Stuart made homemade rootbeer 2 nights in a row. The kids thought this was so amazing and fun! Stuart also made us dinners for 2 nights. He's quite the cook!
Brian helping with the rootbeer

Yes, there are still MORE photos!

Yes, I am amazing. Do you love the rainbow I got in the photo? Look hard. It's there. Yeah! One more year at least...to repent.
This will give you a better idea of the children on the trip. It never seems like that many until you start doing things like THIS!

Because my time is limited beyond belief...I am just adding photos here and there as I get a second to stop by the computer. So here are today's trip photos.

Today was the last day of soccer. Yippee. Sorry, but...yes...yippee! It was a very cold day outside. So I guess we will be indoors on the really cold days.

Tracy isn't feeling well. He hasn't felt well since we returned home from our vacation. I have no idea what is going on with him, but I am not a good diagnosis person when there are NO symptoms besides pain.

I took 3 kids to the doctor this morning. My shelter/foster baby has ear infections, and Stevie has bad allergies, and Lyndee has cold sores. Genetically, my kids have never gotten cold sores. So...I needed medicine for that. I didn't have it on hand.

Tracy's aunts stopped by to see him today. I had just layed the babies down for their naps, so I had to miss that visit.

Tracy is still trying to "do it all" even though is body is needing some rest or something! He went to travel council meeting yesterday! Gee! It's good for him though. Very good. Sitting around here feeling sick would be bad for everyone.

I am missing Justen very badly. He was such a HUGE help on the trip. Now that Trichelle is full force back into cheer, I am the lonely mom again. Me and a million little kiddos, (which I actually enjoy) and a disaster area home (which I do not enjoy).

Austen and Kayla brought our grandbaby Kollen by today for a short time. All I can say, is that I cannot believe how much I love that little guy. He's the most adorable little man! So amazing and fun!








I love to see the temple...

Just a FEW photos of our Amazing Trip to Yellowstone

Here are just SOME Of our trip photos. My computer is working weird, so I had to stop this one, and maybe start a new one. As you can see, we had so many fun adventures!
Cool Photo Trichelle took of the temple in Justen's glasses
We went into Rexburg, and walked around the temple. It really stands out from the freeway. So pretty! We just had to go and see it!


Aunt Delena and Uncle Stuart ( DeVon's siblings. (Tracy's father DeVon))
Rachel made Ethen this wonderful cake for his birthday, and even had 11 cute balloons to go with it. Oh yes, and homemade ice cream that Brian made! Yum!
While in Salt Lake, we stayed at my sister, Kristin's house. Uncle Anthony gave the kids tractor rides. It was so fun!
We suprised Uncle Teddy and Uncle Stuart at work on our way out of town. The Stronks & Sons Hardware store is pretty amazing. That is all I can say. It's awesome!
Uncle Teddy and Uncle Stuart
Rachel is amazing! And Molly is the cutest little sweetheart! It was sad to have to say goodbye!
some of us with the van that Rachel gave Trichelle. They got a new van, and Rachel wanted to give her old van to Trichelle. Like I said, Rachel is an amazing girl! I wish we lived closer, because she is one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. What a true blessing to get to know our Idaho family better!
Brian, Rachel, BJ and Molly. Cute cousins who made us dinner every night and let us eat at their house!
Since we were unable to see bears and wolves in the wild, we did go to a museum with a few live animals. It was pretty cool. (the weather was too!)


Ethen celebrated his birthday on our trip, Oct 1st. I took lots of pictures of him on his big day. This was on a hike.

We almost froze to death, but the view of Mesa Falls was worth every goosebump!


Buffalos,Buffalos everywhere! Well, not really, but that is what we saw the most of. UPCLOSE and personal!

HOME! Sweet, SWEET HOME!!!!

Just in case anyone is still checking in on us, we are home from a very long vacation.

Since we are somewhat under the weather due to loss of sleep, etc, maybe I can catch you up on our happenings.

Today, our sweet friend, and mother of my sister-in-law, Heidi (Steven's wife), passed away today. She found out a year ago that she had mesothelioma cancer.
Life is very sad for the Wilson-Bowler families.
Our hearts go out to Heidi, Steven(my brother) and their families.

http://iamadaughterofgod.blogspot.com/

We are hoping to post pictures of our recent adventures very soon, so...wish us luck!

Wednesday

I have had NO time to blog. No time to think, and NO time for anything. But because you are important to me, I will take a moment and update.

Tracy celebrated his birthday yesterday. It was fun. Well, I thought so anyways. I just put some pictures of our Nauvoo trip in an album so he could look at them. He liked that. And then I washed and ironed all of his pennants that he had collected since childhood, that he figured were ruined. He liked that. And he also enjoyed the book I got him from the thrift store. A snoopy book. He was thrilled. You see, you CAN give good gifts even when the moola isn't there for the big stuff. And I got a few projects done too.

Tracy is doing ok these days. He is just tired. What a blessing to have Robin, our nurse back. We could barely survive without her. She does so much to help me in the mornings, just by caring for Tracy. That morning routine is wearing. Seems like all I can do, to do the night one by myself, along with all of these kiddos. But we are managing.

We did get our bus back thank heavens. The transmission is almost completely gone in the blue van, and the lift doesn't work good enough anymore, so this is now just a "run around in town" vehicle for Trichelle until it totally dies. She isn't thrilled, but...beggars cannot be choosers right? She's actually is just glad to have something to drive around.
She's so great in helping me out, so I am glad she has wheels to do these errands daily for me. It makes life easier.

We currently have a 2 year old girl living with us. It was just supposed to be a quick shelter thing, as that is what shelter is. Very temporary. But this has gone on for 3 weeks now. So we are just enjoying her sweet little personality. And getting used to a 2 year old that is in to everything again! She will probably leave after our vacation. Somehow, we are taking her on our trip. I call it, "taking my work with me." But it will help out in the finance department I guess. Or will it? Hm...let's not go there.

We got to see Austen, Kayla and Kollen tonight. Man, he is the sweetest, and cutest baby. I am not prejudice am I? Oh he is adorable. I love that baby!
Austen and Kayla take such good care of him. What a great blessing it is.

Justen is up for now, so he can go on our trip. I will be so grateful for the adult help. I think that is the only reason I agreed to go. Between he and Craig, I will be ok.

I still do not have my computers up and running. What a total bummer. I bought this new laptop in March, and it's a total lemon. The screen is out on it now too, so it's useless. BLAH!

That is what is up in our world, along with school, homework, dance, gymnastics, soccer, swim lessons, piano, cheer, work, foster care runs, and...just life. Right now, it just seems extremely busy to me. I can barely keep up. I think at this point I am running faster than I have strength. Yes, that's the problem.

Thanks to everyone who has asked about the bus, and cares for us. I appreciate it. And for our great friend Ida in Phoenix, who sent Tracy his only birthday card. Thanks Ida! You are a great person always remembering everyone!

We are doing ok, just needing a little rest. Maybe some year. Right? :) Love you all!

Friday

I've been out of town 3 times this week. It's almost unbearable. It's so hard to be gone from home that many days in a row, and to keep up. Actually, it's NOT possible.

Thank heavens for friends who have been pinch hitting for me off and on. It's been so hard not having Robin this week for showers. Oh my.

Our bus is still out of commission. It's a very stressful time. We hope to have it back by next week, or we won't be able to go on our camping trip.

We got the blue van back. It isn't safe to take out of town, but it will get Trichelle to and from activities close by. Austen took Tracy to a meeting last night in the blue van. But by the time that Austen got home, he was so frustrated, and I could see why. Tracy almost fell out of the van off of the lift because it is broken.

Tracy hasn't felt very good lately. We are not sure why. He stayed in bed all day yesterday until his meeting last night.

Craig went to Phoenix for the weekend to see Justen. So we had him take Nathen and Dillen. They were so excited to go and see grandparents and cousins. We miss them terribly, but there is no doubt they are having the time of their lives with family. Oh how I miss family.

Is everyone else spinning in circles too? I hope not. We will survive this busy time of year I am sure. So much to do, so little time. I just need about 3 more clones of myself. Then things will be done MY way. Hee hee. Oh I am so funny.
Just kidding. One of me is plenty for any family. They love me though.

If anyone else is running in circles, call me and I will try to help you. I am not sure what I can do, but maybe something. My list is never too full for the needy. In case you cannot tell. I have a 2 year old because....I wasn't busy enough? Actually, we are enjoying her right now.

Thanks for supporting us, by putting up with us the last little while, since we are so far behind.

Way Far behind

I am so backed up, it's almost useless to even blog anymore. Sad day huh?

With hardly a computer that works, and so much going on, we are just in a bind.

Currently, our bus is OUT of COMMISSION again. It died on us right as we were pulling into the auto shop. Who knows when we will find out what is wrong. They don't even know. The blue van has a bad transmission. So...that vehicle is really no good to us. I hate to soak lots of moola into that vehicle, when it's not really a practical one for Trichelle. So, back to square one for now. Tracy has been riding his wheelchair to work, but that time is ending soon. The weather is colder and much rainier. He cannot handle the cold at all.

But the good news, is that this epidural worked quite well, and Tracy is doing pretty good. Which is nice, since we are planning a family trip to Yellowstone over UEA (The Utah education days off). Uncle Ted and Aunt Delena lined us up with a place to stay while there. We have great family members!

I sure wish a family member would move closer to us! Oh well, never hurts to dream or hope. Right? That is what life is about.

I don't have help from Robin the next 3 days, so this will really put me behind. I have never had to try to appreciate Robin, as I do so regularly, that geeze...I really depend on her, and miss her when she's gone. She is so wonderful, making life so much easier.
She's been so nice to us, and even helped me on a few projects around the house. Just because she wanted to one day after Tracy's shower!!! (Cannot put photos up on this computer)

We have had a shelter baby here for a week now. She's 2 years old. We are not sure when she will be leaving. But she's been lots of fun. I am grateful for the extra work right now. Minimal as it may be.

Anyways, we are still around, just running around in circles with soccer, swim lessons, gymnastics, dance, cheer, piano, and all of the other activities we have.

Thanks for all of the support we receive. We are grateful for it!

Computer's Down

Our computers are down. My no-good-lemon-laptop now has a screen that won't work. Frustration is in the air.

We are extremely busy these days, and so I haven't had time for much.

Last week was a very hard week. But Trichelle's tests turned out ok. So that stress is good. Only problem is that she still has the same symptoms,with no diagnosis really.

Tracy is his normal self. Off and on pain. Nothing really too elaborate to report.

I have a few fun photos as soon as I get a computer to work. This is the kids' preschool computer, but they are taking it soon. WA.

Thanks for your patience with all of the problems.

And just for the record, I did find out that we will NOT be getting extreme makeover. I have my resources. I am glad to know this, because now I can move forward with my own plans. I almost feel relieved to quit worrying if they will or won't come out. And I know that we have a nice home, and we are so grateful for it. So we can just improve this home, and wait on Tracy forever as he cannot get into the house, but after 2 years, it's just what is normal now. So it's all good.
Someday, we will rebuild when we have the prime piece of property that is not sandwiched in between 3 other houses. I need open space for the kids to run where they won't bug neighbors. :)
So things are all working out like they should, and we are well aware that the Lord has his hand in our lives. What a great comfort.

I have been working on organizing some things, so hopefully life will feel a little more bareable soon,and more peace will be present. Ah... life. It sure is interesting huh?
Thanks for your support. We've had so much help this week, and it made life liveable.
Especially my wonderful visiting teacher, Shirley Chidester, who took Ryen to the doctor for me, when I was out of town and couldn't get back. We are blessed.

KIDS-R-MY-LIFE

This is what makes us happy. Awesome kids. They make life worth living!

A few photos that make me happy.








Yes, it took me days to get this out of their hair, and my bathtub!
But if they are smiling, it's all good!



Look at Kollen's hand. Is Austen teaching him early to do these teen signs or what? Do I know what this means? Or am I old? Um...old...the kids think it's funny because we didn't even plan that one! I sure do love my grand baby!

I really don't have time to do this, but...I miss you guys.

Life's been hard lately, I am NOT gonna lie. Just too much going on for one family to deal with, but we are still alive.

Monday I took Tracy to the doctor. He's had some blood pressure problems, and wants to get the bullet out of his arm. So he had a consultation. We are going to try a few things with the blood pressure before meds. One more is just...one more.

Tracy meets with a surgeon tomorrow to see how they want to go about the bullet removal.

Today, I took Trichelle to a pediatric gastrointerologist. She will go in for some testing again on Friday. Like I said, just too much going on. She is my healthiest child too! Not anymore. Sadly, the blue van isn't working hardly at all, so now that is in the shop. She is frustrated. But...she will have to find a part time job in her spare time, until either the van gets fixed, or we come up with a new plan. Like...Craig goes on his mission.
Speaking of Craig, he's so wonderful. He came down today and babysat the little kids, got them to their school, activities, and everything. They love him, and he's awesome! He is wanting to move for a month or 2 to try something new before his mission, but...just not sure what to do with him, as we are still using his talents at the Lodge. :)

I took out a bunch of 72 hour kit stuff to put those together, and needless to say, it's covering the house at this point. So sad. Oh well, I try. Pathetic I tell ya. I might get to that like...someday. Maybe I will box it all back up.
I mean, do I want to survive 72 hours if there is another crisis? Just kidding. Of course I do. Life is too fun. (that is a true statement). I don't mind one day of it. Really. I just hate being behind, and deep down, I tend to be a perfectionist (I know, you are surprised), but really, I have all these high hopes of this perfect life, which I continue to try and achieve, even though I know it won't happen. :/

The people with Tracy's medical insurance are at it again. They had him in tears today. When will it end? Is it the people in my town? Who is after us so badly? The lady YELLED at Tracy on the phone, and said she was sick of people taking advantage of the system to get insurance. He was basically at his wits end today. Later, the lady found out the situation and apologized, but it still cut to the core for Tracy.
See, life is so fun.
I really want to get a job, but that would really mess things up. I mean, who would go to the doc every day? Who would do all of this "free" work? I need a job that won't hurt our benefits. Yes, impossible. I could always do that forbidden word again maybe...if they called me....(foster care).

Seriously, I wanted to report all of the great things going, but...Austen has not shot his deer yet (he's been hunting), and well really, this is just real life as I know it. When I got home today, the kids ran with excitement to greet me, because I was home. That made all of my troubles run away, and I realized again...life is good. No, life is great.

Busy Week so far

We've been so busy, I cannot see straight. Maybe because I am trying to look through piles of stuff I haven't had time to work on. Laundry, groceries away, projects started and not finished in Tracy's room. Oh my. It's almost overwhelming. Wait, it IS overwhelming. Such is life.

So far this week, I have been to Cedar City 3 times. I wish I could just move there. After Tracy's day today, I am ready and willing. But again, such is life. I could never do what he does. NEVER.

Tracy had a dentist appointment today, because he lost the permanent retainer in his mouth. Well, not lost it, but it fell out. And a myriad of other obligations.
I could handle this, but not his normal life OR work life.

I count my blessings each and every day that I am a stay-at-home mom. I feel so incredibly blessed. A cave would be just as nice, but...I am happy where I am. In my own 4 walls!

The news about the bus is...we need an entire new A/C unit, the fuel pump is out, but works off and on, and they did fix the lights. Who knows when we will get this stuff done. Depends on many things. Very costly just to diagnose these problems in our large bus, but...luckily it happened.
It's pretty discouraging. We have been blessed to be able to use the hospital van to go to and from Cedar for Tracy's appointments. A HUGE blessing right now with the fact that our bus isn't really super safe yet. Sometimes, do you ever just want to throw in the towel? I keep throwing in the white flag, and it keeps coming back to me! What? I know, it's so not right. So I pick it up, and try to wave it again, and...same results!

I know of so many people who are struggling or having a hard time. I wonder if it's like a...pandemic. He ehee. Just kidding. If you are doing swimmingly well, please comment so the rest of us can see that life is good on the outside world!

I really wish I could get some family to move closer. Wouldn't that be nice?
Here is what I say..."if the family doesn't move closer, you move closer to the family." Is that phrase coined yet? Or do I get it?

I guess it's obvious by now, that I haven't had sleep in 2 nights. But it's all good. One good night of sleep, and I will be good to go again for a while.
I think tonight is a good night for sleep.

Aging has helped me in the area of becoming wiser.

Thanks to everyone who loves us and helps us. Thanks to everyone who has EVER helped us in the last 2 years....even ONE time. I know that for me, it has kept me afloat. We are blessed with good friends and family. I just don't get to see or talk to anyone much.

And a special thanks to the person who helps me the VERY VERY MOST! Robin. Our nurse. She is the most amazing person. If it weren't for her, there is absolutely NO WAY I could function. NO WAY. She shows up here EVERY morning she is supposed to. She has a smile on her face, and kind words from her heart. I love this woman! If I owe anyone my life it's her. She is so wonderful. I know it's her job, but she is so kind and sweet and smiling all the time, it makes life better to be in her presence. I hope to NEVER lose this kind soul. She takes very good care of Tracy. I owe her so much. It means so much to me. To have someone be kind to my husband. As he deals with people are not kind to him on a regular basis...like the lady at Walmart today, who treated him like he was retarded. He was so offended and hurt. His body is handicapped. NOT his brain! HELLO PEOPLE! So annoying. Welcome to our world of disability.
Tired...yes, I am tired...forgive me for my epilogue.

The good event of the day I think...we will probably have an adoption date of Sept. 10. I will be glad to be done with this.

Bus down

Tracy is doing pretty good considering...so we are happy this week. Other than our bus. The A/C is totally out. The running lights are still out from our trip back east. And now it's giving me trouble starting. Oh wa. Big WA. We took it in this morning, but didn't get it back. So, Tracy drove home in his chair. He needs to be taking advantage of the weather while he has it anyways. It's been quite nice here actually! Ah.......

Everyone has been totally exhausted from going to school, and playing hard afterwards. We are struggling to get into a better routine of going to bed early! What? I know...dumb. But with the summer just behind us, we are still trying to get into an earlier bedtime routine. It's been hard. So usually everyone is whining and crying all evening from being overtired. Homework was lucky to be done tonight. I HATE homework on Monday nights. How are you supposed to do that AND have Family Home Evening? See, unorganized still. But working hard to get back into our normal routine.

Tracy did reading with the kids. That helps alot!

We hope to get our bus back soon. The blue van is now being driven by Trichelle, and the lift is all but broken. And...it's on it's last leg. Puttering down the street, barely starting. I still been a blessing to us, as it gives Trichelle something to drive around in. She doesn't seem too embarressed by it's charming faded blue color. Hee hee.

All seems to be going good, and we plan on a good week. Knock on Wood! :)

School is IN! WE LOVE SCHOOL! Details!!!

Ethen is in 5th grade. He could hardly wait to get to school, and was there 30 minutes early. Poor kid woke up with a swollen eye though. He is allergic to the public swimming pool. He was there less than an hour, and came home with this eye. He still has it, but it's not as bad. He thinks he has the best teacher in the world.
Trichelle is a Junior this year. I know, it's crazy! She is still loving cheer and had an assembly first thing, so had to dress in her million dollar cheer uniform. I mean...I think her cheer uniforms cost more than her entire collection of clothing! But it's worth it, when we see her smile. (this is her cheesy~mom making her smile look) But she loves to dance and cheer. She has some really hard classes this year, including 2 AP classes but she'll get some college credit, so it's all good! She is my amazing helper! What a blessing she is in my life. I could not do life without my sweet teen!
Ryen is very shy, and so this worried us with seperating he and Kendra in 3rd grade this year. We have had a daily struggle for 3 years in a row. But the time came, and he didn't even need me to walk him to school or his class. He is so brave and says his teacher is SO NICE! I think he is going to have a great year and is proud to have the same teacher all of his older siblings have had.
Kendra is in 3rd grade this year. She is the sweetest little girl! She loves to learn! She wants to wear a dress every day. She is even waking up to her OWN alarm clock!
Nathen is up and ready first thing. He can hardly wait for school each day! He is going stir crazy with all these hours to "wait".
Lyndee has done so well in catching up! She is happy to be going to school, and just wishes she could eat school lunch! She hadn't had any shots before, so we had to catch her up this summer getting all of her shots every month. What a brave little girl!
Dillen is so excited to be in school! He just wishes he could write all of the alphabet instead of just say it and sing it. We are trying out Kindergarten. He has such a late birthday, we might keep him in Kindergarten for 2 years. Just depends on how he likes it.


The first day of school was quite hectic. Everyone was so extremely excited to go, they didn't even want me to walk them! They rode their bikes! For the kindergarten kids, I walked with them. It was quite fun. Especially since I found this new jogger at DI. So I got a deal on it! Stevie loves it and wants to go on walks. Walks are one of my kids' favorite activities, so...this is fun to have a new stroller. Nathen was ready by 8am. Ready to go, asking me every 5 minutes if it was time. I might have to change him to morning Kindergarten. We'll see if Mrs. Barney is surviving all three first. kindergarten! YEAH!
Ok, so what teacher couldn't love those little faces? (I am sure they didn't look like that for three hours) Poor Mrs. Barney! I might need pointers this year on how to help her survive!
"look, it's a jungle!"




After school, we didn't have much time to spare, before soccer games started. They are all playing soccer to. I have 3 on one team, 2 on another and Ethen on his own. Poor Ethen has been suffering from severe allergies and a migraine for about the last week. His eye allergies are getting a little better, but he's been very miserable, even with his allergy medicine! He comes home from school completely exhausted. Hopefully he will get better soon.

Kollen's first soccer game! I have the cutest daughter in law, and grandson!
Kendra the cute soccer girl. She and Ryen really love soccer!
Go Ryen!

Wow, check out this soccer move! You GO Ethen! (Poor kid was playing with a migraine, and still did pretty good!)

As for today, Tracy is doing quite a bit better. He slept pretty good, and hurt too bad for his meeting in Cedar today, but after our "home study adoption interview", he started feeling pretty good, and went to the office for the day. Tonight, he is doing pretty good. He has pain, but it seems to be under control. Brian came by to check on Tracy's status today. What a good neighbor he is. He gave Tracy a great blessing, and really, everything that was said, seems to be just what Tracy needed in a blessing. Ah...the priesthood is so awesome!

Our adoption should be done right away. Within the next few weeks. We had to answer some really dumb questions, and this has taken hours. So..if you want to see my house somewhat clean, (well, there IS clutter) or you want us to adopt you (lol), you had better get on the bandwagon now, because I have NO intention of going through this rigamorole again. (now I am cracking myself up)

Well, it's late, and it's taken FOREVER to get a few photos posted. (well, alot).
Sorry, and thanks for your patience with my tired brain.

First Day of School /Pain Days

I have so many great plans, but alas...I am very tired. So I cannot post my children's first day of school.
Tracy had an extremely hard night last night. His arms were literally on fire from pain. Streaking up and down mostly his right arm. I thought I was watching a horror movie. It was damaging to me. I doubled up his pain meds because I was not sure WHAT to do. And that screaming and out of control shaking was more than one could bare. So...a few hours later, wahla! He was totally physcially exhausted and so we put Robin off for a while.

Tracy was able to go to a meeting he had scheduled in Cedar late this afternoon. Austen and Craig went with him. He was in pain there and came home just suffering greatly again. We could tell it was a horrible night. So he asked me to call someone for a blessing. He said, "I don't care WHO you call, just get someone over here now!" So I always tend to think...who is closest so I don't bug anyone? Gee. There are so many options, and I need to quit bugging Brian Bremner, but he is so close and so willing, so...I called him and our other neighbor Craig Twitchell. They came right over, and again...WAHLA! He is doing tons better and turned into a jabber jaws. He is already asleep. I cannot even believe it, but...it's true.

I am just too worn out tonight to do photos and all, but thanks for all of the prayers in our family's behalf. We are really benefiting from them.

And the other great news of the day? There was a subsidy meeting with our social worker, and Doug went to battle for us. So we will get a monthly benefit for adopting our two new kids. Which will never make us rich, which is of course totally fine, but, it will help with our bills. This is a true blessing that I have been praying for. Plus, I believe Tracy just sent off one of our tithing checks too, so we know where are blessings are coming from.

The other good news...I heard second hand, that we can use the hospital bus off and on for Tracy so that they will not lose it from lack of use. This is another great blessing, as our A/C is still not fixed, nor are our back lights, etc. Plus, it's alot less noisy, nicer, etc. So life just keeps handing us good things right now.
So happy. We are so happy. And due to this wonderful blessing, I might get a few winks tonight too! So tired...so happy...so blessed!

I will update as soon as I can!

Tuesday

Things are going good at our house. Our shelter boy left today. It was sad to see him go, but he is going to live with family members, so it's all good.

I have seen a few people lately that have acted weird around me. I am wondering if I have offended anyone. If I have, and you happen to read my blog, please forgive me. I do not mean to offend anyone ever. But I am sure I do, and annoy people too. I just figure I cannot please everyone, and am doing what I can.
Here I am. Doing what I do best. yikes! I am still not sure what I said or did, but I hope this will take care of it. I know it really aggravates some people that I do foster care, or that Tracy and I went on a trip recently to celebrate our anniversary, or that we have so many kids, or whatever is bugging you, because I can list many more things I have figured bug people; But if anyone wants to experience my life first-hand, I am looking for a free nanny. Hee hee ha ha ho ho. Come on over!

We were supposed to have a home study done today for foster care. But, the people never came. so I guess the stress will continue until that happens on Thursday now.
I was hoping it was all over by today. Now the goal is to keep the house clean until that time. Yeah right. I figure they missed it. I should have taken photos! :)

We start school tomorrow! Yeah! Everyone is so excited! Everyone!

Austen and Kayla came down and we were able to see Kollen for a short time. He is so cute! He is really starting to talk and smile.

I guess I have given up on home makeover to come, so...it's time to do some changes. I think I might move all of my boys into the basement and just make it one big room for them. I am still thinking about this, but then all of the mess, toys, etc would be downstairs! Yet...they are all deathly afraid of the dark, so it just might not work. Hmmm....thinking of school starting just gets me excited for change!

Thanks to everyone who supports us. Your kind words mean so much. And I am very sorry to anyone whom I have offended. I would never intentionally hurt anyone. My mouth sometimes runneth over is all I can figure.

Getting Along

I am happy to report, that Tracy's epidural is actually working ok this time. Last time, he was in pain for like 3 weeks. HOrrible pain. But this time, I think it's helping. Although we are still using breakthrough pain pills during the night which is abnormal.
I can see the difference in Tracy. Overall, he is happier than he has been in 2 weeks. And now we can go on. Hopefully this epidural will continue to add him a little relief from his daily pain. He was unable to go to church yesterday from pain, but I am wondering if deep down, he was trying to help me out by not going.

To get him ready by 9 for church, along with all of the kids and I had a lesson to teach. I think he was partially being kind. Which I do appreciate. Because after a very stressful week here, and the kids acting like we were at a circus instead of church, use your imagination. Right? My Relief Society lesson did not go as planned. I had stayed up almost all night preparing the rest of the lesson. Nothing worked out. Not my music, or anything. I ended up babbling and saying things I should have not said. But all that really matters, is that it is over. I am on the mend this week from the trauma of last week.

We are also doing shelter as of Saturday night late. That is going well. Probably just until Thursday, but who knows. As long as it's not adoption, I am grateful for the blessing of the extra menial income it brings. I think $15 a day? It's worth it to me. I figure the other part of the job is the blessings it brings to our family. To learn service, kindness, and compassion. To see others who have NOTHING. WE are so blessed! Our life is so full of people whom we love and we are the lucky ones! We have support and love. So we are in turn on the Lord's errand to help others. Sappy, but real. This is going to be a great week! I can feel it!

Epidural #3

I have some pretty handsome men here don't ya think? How cute are they!

Truth be known, I wouldn't have put this photo up, but really, this is me. Sadly but truly. I had been rained on, worn out, overtired, and then in St. George, heat and sweating...why bother trying to get ready in the morning right? Oh well, to know me is to love me...just me and my reality check...

Today started bright and early as Tracy got his haircut. I figure, let's start the day off with him feeling better! He almost passed out getting up today, but...not time for that business. We just plugged him into his oxygen, and...all was well.

When all of the minor details of the day were finished (checking Tracy's blood, Craig was getting blood drawn too for other reasons, haircut, Robin w/ his shower, trash day, etc...(too many to list), we got into the hospital bus. Oh my was it nice! And I mean...AWESOME! It even smelled brand new! Tinted windows, the works. And it's a bit quieter too. Rides smoothly...ah, Tracy is in heaven at this point. Who could hurt after all of this so far?

We had a nice air conditioned ride down to St. George. Tracy was so anxious to get his epidural. Anything for relief! Ethen wanted to go with us today. He is Tracy's right hand man anymore, and likes to be with Tracy or myself most of the time. So it all worked out well.

The epidural was painful, but this is normal. So I didn't include any "after" photos because the pain was pretty high.
Tracy hurt pretty bad. So what solves this problem other than pain meds? You are right! I dropped him off at Barnes and Noble! Hee hee. Talk about heaven! He could have been there for hours. I saw a great change in his pain level. It was like a little kid in a candy store to watch him. The minute I got him back into the bus, the pain set in worse. We got home pretty late, because of errands and Tracy's enjoyment of the bookstore! It's all good right?
He is hurting as bad as I figured tonight, but it will take a few days to set in. Or if it's like last time, 3+ weeks.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support for Tracy, myself, and our family. They are benefiting us greatly!

Happy 5th Birthday Dillen!

Amidst all of the struggles we seem to be having lately, and there are too many to list...we had a GREAT thing happen today. A mile stone if you will.

Our little Dillen turned 5 today! What a sweet and adorable little boy! He has been SO excited to have a birthday, he could hardly see straight. For days, weeks, months..."is it my birthday yet?" Today was the day. He woke up, smiling from ear to ear! "Happy Birfday to me, Happy Birfday to me! Happy Birfday to Diwen, happy birfday to me!" He's been singing to himself all day.

After his little singing sessions he said, "where is my card from grandma with money in it?" So we called Grandma Wilson, and she said it should be in the mail and to him by Saturday. He remembers Nate getting a few ones for his birthday. This boy never forgets anything! Good ole grandma, what a good sport she is! Gma and Gpa Armstrong usually send him a card too. He was happy to open a card and it had all sorts of coupons in it for me. Dillen said, "I don't want diapers!" He is so funny, we cannot quit laughing!

He could hardly wait for us to give him his gift. All he really wanted was a bigger bike. Watch out evil Kenival! (however spelled), because Dillen is the next stunt man! He does all sorts of acrobats. Oh my. I told him he needs a helmet for this bike! (to him, it's cool because it's shiny!)

As the day progressed, he said, "what about my gifts and decorations?" So, after explaining to a 5 year old, that his bike cost alot of money, he could not understand. Somehow, mom to the rescue, found a few little things in her gift closet to "wrap". He is happy as a clam. Doesn't take much. Too bad we didn't forget the bike, and stick with the few dollar gifts I came up with. Sheesh!

Today was fun watching our sweet little angel, enjoy the day he's waited for all year! What a joy he is to us! (Excuse me, I have to go, I cannot find him...oh no! Maybe he is at the Bremners, I mean, he does think their house is his too, or what if he is riding his bike in the dark, or...


All is well, he's all tuckered out after a LONG day of birthday and soccer. Happy Birthday Dillen, we love you little guy!

First day of SOCCER! And...OH NO! Lynn's human!

The kids had their first day of soccer. It was pretty nice getting outside for an hour. The kids had lots of fun. My only problem was watching 6 kids,(3 different games) at the same time.

Tracy still hurts, but is hanging in there today. He was slow going this morning. But yesterday just about wore him out to a frazzle.

My heart is beating pretty hard right now. First to hear of a story that happened to a man who works with Justen. A thug broke into his house, was breaking into the family gun safe, when the teen at home called 911 2 times, without any help. The guy pulled a gun on the teen and luckily it was on safe and so the kid didn't get shot. But the thug fully planned on killing the kid. This freaked me out.

And now...WHAT IN the WORLD is GOING ON HERE???? I ask your forgiveness ahead of time before I start spouting. You were warned!! Lynn has a human side. Yikes. Sorry mother! You did teach me to keep my mouth quiet but...

What is causing my heart to feel pain and stress, is that Tracy just informed me that he received an email saying that his shooter is up for a parole hearing in January of 2010. That will not even be 4 years! What ever happened to the guy who told us that it would be 8 years before they'd look at him????????
He is in Gunnison, enrolled in a really TOUGH program, where he has to wake up early, make his bed, clean his toilet and such. And supposedly it's a VERY hard program for him to do, but HE is DOING IT!

Like I told Tracy, feeling very stressed..."if they want to give that kid a tough program to follow, let him live a day in YOUR shoes Tracy! Or even MY shoes!"
I usually do not feel alot of anger like this, but I am just furious. FURIOUS!
A tough day? That kid has NO idea what a TOUGH day in life is. FURIOUS! Sorry for my outrage, but this whole thing is an outrage. And as long as I live, I will fight for him to stay in jail. If they let him out, NO ONE IS SAFE. NO matter HOW tough it is to make a bed, and get up early and clean a toilet. BLAH! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! The whole thing is an INJUSTICE!

What is tough? Try losing a son to cancer as Tracy's uncle and aunt just did! Or a husband and father, as his wife and children are doing right now. That is TOUGH. Try losing a wife to cancer. That is what my friend's husband did, as she lay suffering, and dying of cancer, and leaving 3 little children! Try dealing with the trauma that your son shot someone...that is what Jasson's father has to do. THAT is tough! Or the fact that we have never heard ONE word from Jasson's family. It's tough! Try giving your child up for adoption! I know many women who have had to do this, and I was there and witnessed one myself! TOUGH! STILL TOUGH! Try being a foster child, and never seeing your parents again due to NO fault of your own! Try having your baby backed over by a truck. That is what my grandmother went through. Try getting a divorce, or becoming a single parent! Living with never ending pain and suffering, or losing a job. Like so many of my friends have had to deal with. THAT IS TOUGH! Try losing a young daughter, her husband and a newborn baby, as a high speed police chase kills all 3. My friends gets to live with this sorrow EVERY day for the rest of their lives. THAT is TOUGH! Or just try watching a loved one, suffer, cry and beg for mercy because they don't know if they will live or die that day. I do this regularly, and let me tell you, it's TOUGH!

Sorry, I am now sounding like...Andy Rooney or something.

GIVE ME A BREAK! Waking up early, making your bed, and getting lectures on how NOT to hurt people is NOT tough! I need to find an address and then we can all write letters to the jerk who even had the gall to write an email telling Tracy how tough Jasson's life is. FURIOUS!

Ok, now that I have this off of my chest, but still in my heart...
Tomorrow is Tracy's epidural. Luckily the hospital will let us use their bus. As yesterday, we are lucky Tracy didn't die from heat stroke. Would we have had such a TOUGH day yesterday or tomorrow or FOREVER...if Tracy had not been shot? I doubt it. But we will never know. Life is just TOUGH!~

Breathing...breathing...kindness begins with me...breathing...life is good...we are all ok...and we are survivors...you know why? Cause we are TOUGH! ARMSTRONG TOUGH!

A trip to St. George

We really have no time to think this week. The busy times just never end. With Tracy's pain level, we had to make a few exceptions to the rule, and cancel a few things going.

Today was a trip to both of his main doctors in St. George. He was very much against the trip in the bus, but realized there was only ONE way that he was going to get his medicines. So...he agreed. It's so hard to committ a whole day to going there, but we did.

Half way between Cedar and St. George, we smelled something burning. Tracy thought it was my breaks. I knew it wasn't, but figured it was the guy in front of us. Next thing I realize, still smelling burning, NO COLD AIR is coming out of the vents. No kidding! We are still ok, because it's mid morning. Well,that ended very quickly as we arrived in St. George. I had a few errands I just HAD to get done, so I dropped Tracy off at McDonald's with Nathen. (He is the one we took today). They ate some lunch while I ran. I figured I would die from the heat myself, as there are very few windows to open. He was only there about 45 minutes, and then it was off to Dr. Empey, pain specialist. We didn't get him, we got his assistant. She was ok I guess.

They decided to try another epidural. On THURSDAY! WHAT? NO WAY! Good thing I took him off of his coumadin! (They were mad I did this without permission, but...hey, they don't have to live with a man in pain)

Then, off to Dr. Udy for an adjustment in pain medicines. He decided we would try the epidural first, and if that doesn't work, we have a "new medication" that was recently approved that we can try. Oh yes, and they are cutting out one of his meds that is bad for him anyways! YEAH! I hate those kinds of meds! He has only needed them for this dumb pain. But...we are going to try another new one instead.
We are hopeful!

We came out and there was Carol and DeVon in the waiting room! Tracy was happy to see them. I could tell he was fighting back tears, as his mother said, "so what did the doctor say?" And Tracy responded, "basically, I will be in pain for the rest of my life." I explained to him that this was not new revelation, and that there is still hope.
He is hurting so awfully bad right now, it's very hard on him. I would be discouraged too if I were him.
Dr. Udy did point out that Tracy is so much better than he ever was 2 years ago, and we need to focus on the progress that has taken place over the past 2 years. I appreciated his positive attitude.
I think we all forget how bad it used to be, compared to now. Even though "now" is still very hard on him.

We had to leave straight out of St. George without getting all of our errands run, because Tracy was feeling quite ill at this point. Between St. George and Cedar, it was a VERY hard and rough time on all of us in the heat, but especially on Tracy. No words can describe what I witnessed from my rearview mirror. Sad times! Dang.

By the time we got to Cedar, I had to get him out of the car, so we went to Walmart. He went straight to the freezer isle. He was not well. He was all dizzy and faint feeling, and looked pretty bad. I am sure it was heat exhaustion. cold water didn't help much. He was just plain old sick the rest of the time and on the way home. Another scene I do not wish to ever go through again. Horrors.

Needless to say, I had to call our hospital and line up their van for Thursday's surgery. There is absolutely NO way he can do this again without air conditioning. He doesn't sweat and his body does not handle anything of this sort of torture. He is by his A/C unit right now in his room, trying to recouperate. But it's been a very hard day on him.

Good times are on the horizon. We will be changing a few meds, and getting that epidural, so we are excited for the possibilities of Tracy's "feeling good days" soon.
Tracy is so relieved to be home, all is well again!